One of my
earliest memories is when, at four years old, I ran out to the breezeway and
greeted the kind man my mother was dating with, “Are you going to be my Daddy?”
I somehow knew even then that he was the perfect father for me, and he
officially became my father when my parents got married a short time later.
He’s not my
biological father, but that has never mattered to either him or me. He
officially adopted me when I was five years old, and he’s been my dad ever
since. He is still one of the kindest, most loving men I’ve ever known, and I
couldn’t have chosen a better father.
Even back
in the 70’s and 80’s – before it was common for fathers – he always took an
active role in the lives of me and my sister. We did a lot of things together
as a family: camping, hiking, and our annual vacation at the beach. On Saturday
nights, we played games together in front of our fireplace. My dad was the
champ at Parcheesi and never would have let us win on purpose. He was always
fair-minded and kind.
He was just
as kind to my friends, greeting them by name when he came home from work and
always taking an interest in what I was doing. Whenever he came home and saw my
best friend, Michelle (which was almost every day), he would say teasingly,
“Oh, no! It’s Michelle!” and she’d erupt in a fit of giggles. She knew, just
like I did, that he genuinely liked me and my friends. He had a great sense of
humor. He even put up with my annual slumber party of screaming little girls in
the basement!
Dad didn’t
just get involved in my life; he involved me in his, too. He was in the trucking
industry, and for a while when I was a kid, he had his own business and small
truck, making deliveries to local stores and businesses. When I had a day off
from school, he’d take me along with him for what he called “pick-em-ups and
deliveries.” I rode around town beside him in the red truck, and we’d stop for
donuts and lunch. I felt so special sitting next to him, especially when he
introduced me to his regular customers.
Besides all
the day-to-day fun we had together, my dad was always there for special events.
We were a family that celebrated everything, and he came to every dance recital
and school function, usually with his movie camera. He always let me know that
he was proud of me.
At my
wedding, Dad and I danced together. I chose one of his favorite songs, “Through
the Years” by Kenny Rogers, and its lyrics were perfect for our relationship.
My family and friends gathered in a big circle around us, and most of them were
crying! Dad and I thought that was funny, as we enjoyed our dance together.
When my
husband and I became parents ourselves, my dad became Grandpa. He was just as
loving and kind with our two sons as he had been with me and my sister. From
the time they were little, he has always been actively involved with them,
playing with them on the floor or outside, playing games together with the
whole family, and letting them know he loved them.
Last
summer, my dad was diagnosed with melanoma, now stage 4. He’s had surgeries,
radiation, and immunotherapy, and this past year has been a struggle. My sons,
both busy teenagers now, will still drop everything to go visit him and Grandma
(a day’s drive away). They play cards with him or watch TV or a movie, and they
love his sense of humor. It means so much to me that they love Grandpa just as much
I do.
Our
relationship began in a loving way when he not only accepted me as his daughter
but treated me no differently than my sister, his biological daughter. It has
only grown stronger over the years. From my dad’s example, I learned patience,
kindness, and tolerance. I have come to recognize and appreciate his influence
more the older I get. I feel so fortunate to have him as my father, and he’s
taught me a lot about being a parent myself.
