Memoir Review: The Invisible Girls

A few years ago, I downloaded The Invisible Girls by Sarah Thebarge from the SYNC annual summer audio book program and finally began listening to this beautiful, moving memoir that I finished reading in print.

Sarah, twenty-seven, was riding the train into downtown Portland, Oregon, one day when she met two adorable little girls and their exhausted-looking mother. Sarah was kind and played with the girls (one of whom fell asleep in her lap) and began talking to the mother, Hadhi. That was the start of a unique friendship that enriched the lives of all involved. Hadhi was a Somali refugee and had five little girls under twelve at home (the older three were in school when they first met). She invited Sarah to their apartment, where Sarah soon understood that the family was barely surviving. There was no food in the house, no furniture, and Hadhi had no means of support. Her abusive husband had recently left them, after a particularly violent episode, and Family Services had moved the family for safety to a new subsidized apartment. But Hadhi was lost in this country and culture that was completely unfamiliar to her, and she knew little English. The older girls were learning English in school, but they also felt out of place in their new country and had been placed in grades well below their age-levels due to the language barrier. All five of the little girls, though, were full of joy and adored Sarah (and Justin Bieber!). Sarah began helping the family in any way she could, though she didn't have much herself. She had recently moved to Portland from the East Coast after a horrific, harrowing years-long experience with breast cancer that had left her physically and emotionally damaged. As Sarah got to know the family and helped them adjust to life in the U.S., she found that their love and friendship helped to heal her.

When I first read the synopsis, I worried this might be a sort of "white savior" type of story, but that's not it at all. It's a story about the power of kindness and connection to heal all kinds of trauma. While Sarah did buy some groceries and other necessities for the family (the girls were so excited to receive socks and underwear as gifts!), much of what she did for this family was from her heart, not her pocket. And in return, they helped her to recover from her own traumas. Sarah had almost completed a Master's degree in journalism when she got cancer, and she is a talented writer, bringing the reader along not only on this journey of friendship and belonging but on everything that came before it (she endured a lot). Brought up in a fundamentalist Christian family with a pastor father, she could relate to some of the challenges that Hadhi and the girls dealt with. She understood what kinds of support the girls needed to grow up to be strong, educated, independent women (which their mother very much wanted). It's a beautiful story of the bonds between two very different but damaged women, and the joyful little girls they both love.

(Note: The audio production was excellent, and I was very much enjoying it, but I only had about half of the audio book downloaded, which was likely my fault and not SYNC's. My son would say "I suspect user error, Mom!")

287 pages, Jericho Books

Hachette Audio

This book fits in the following 2024 Reading Challenges:

 

Nonfiction Reader Challenge - Memoir/Biography

Diversity Challenge

Literary Escapes - Oregon

 

Visit my YouTube Channel for more bookish fun!

 

Listen to a sample of the audiobook here and/or download it from Audible.

 

Or get this audiobook from Libro.fm and support local bookstores (audio sample here, too).

 

Print and e-book from Amazon.

 

You can buy the book through Bookshop.org, where your purchase will support the indie bookstore of your choice (or all indie bookstores)--the convenience of shopping online while still buying local!

     
  

My Book on Sale Now Through Monday!

I just wanted to let you know that my book is on sale, now through Cyber Monday, November 27. All e-book formats are on sale, and the paperback when bought through Amazon (sorry but I don't have control over pricing of the paperback through other online and in-store retailers but it is available everywhere). It makes a great gift for anyone dealing with any kind of chronic medical issues.

About the book:

"Whether you are in the early days of living with chronic illness or have been at it for years (or decades), there are always challenges in living a life framed by limitations and restrictions, where isolation is a common issue. This guide provides inspiration, advice on emotional coping, and guidance on living your best life with chronic illness from someone who’s been there. Though it seems impossible at first, your life will eventually settle into a new normal, and while that life may be different than the one you had planned, it can still be a vibrant, fulfilling life based on strong relationships, a healthy emotional state, and finding joy in every day. The emphasis in this book is on LIVING your life, not just enduring it.

From Sue Jackson, the author of the popular and award-winning blog Live with ME/CFS, comes a book to help you live your best life with chronic illness. Based on Sue’s over 20 years living with chronic illnesses in her own family, writing her blog, writing articles on chronic illness, and leading multiple support groups, she provides support and practical advice you can use."

A few of the many 5-star reviews:

Loved It “This book was eye opening and helpful. I am recently diagnosed with Lupus and struggling to understand it all. This book helped me to understand my life isn't over and I don't need to feel guilty when I can't do all the things. Instead I just need to change how we do things such as have movie nights etc.”

A Must Read for Those Struggling with Chronic Illness and Their Families - There is nothing more desperate than trying to find someone who “gets” it! Chronic Illness is real and the emotional toll it takes on the patient and family is tremendous. Looking for someone to help or at least understand is almost impossible. This book gives hope to those suffering from chronic illness by letting them know they are not alone, that there is help out there, and there are things to do to get you through those dark and scary times. There were very limited and often outdated books available to help my family during our initial struggle dealing with a child with a chronic illness. In the beginning life was a lonely and living hell. I was blessed to find Sue and a wonderful group of people online, who shared similar experiences and showed us how to survive in our new “normal”!”

“Encouraging - Chronic illness is difficult to say the least. The daily challenges you face are often so debilitating. Suzan does a wonderful job sharing her and her family's challenges and triumphs living with chronic illness.  What a comfort to know there are people who understand and really "get" what you’re going through. Having support makes a world of difference when you are battling an illness and is essential in moving forward and living your best life.  I recommend this book if you have a chronic illness or if you know someone that does.” 

"Must Read

I am only half way through and it has saved my life. Seriously.”

You can read more about the book and see more reviews, plus a list of links for finding the book (e-book and paperback) through all the major outlets and formats here.

 

If you're in the US, I hope you're enjoying the holiday weekend!

Fiction Review: Everything the Light Touches

I recently finished another audiobook for my Big Book Summer Challenge, Everything the Light Touches by Janice Pariat. I was sold on this book when I read comparisons to Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell, which I loved, and Cloud Cuckoo Land by Anthony Doerr, which is still in my stack for this summer. I enjoyed this beautifully written novel that weaves four stories together from different times and places, all linked by a nature theme.

We first meet Shai, a young woman in modern-day India. She has recently lost her job and moved from Delhi back to the smaller city where she grew up. She learns from her mother that her beloved nanny, who raised her from infancy to her teen years, has taken ill, so Shai sets off on a journey to visit her. Her nanny lives in a remote village in the mountainous northeast, a place so isolated that it has no roads to it. The elderly woman is, indeed, quite ill, living in a small home with her daughter. Shai ends up staying with her for a lengthy time, helping to care for her, becoming a part of the slower, quieter life of the remote community. She also helps out in the garden, reconnecting with nature, which is very important to her own father.

In the early 1900's, a young woman named Evelyn is leaving England for a long trip on a ship to visit India. While everyone around her expects her to find a husband and settle down, Evelyn keeps her true purpose hidden. She studied botany at Cambridge and was fascinated by the writings of Goethe, who proposed a whole new way of looking at plants, as a whole, integrated natural world. Evelyn wants to go on an expedition to the northeastern mountains, in the foothills of the Himalayas, in search of what might be a mythical plant.

In the 1780's, Goethe himself is traveling from his home in Germany to Italy and immersing himself in the unique natural world he discovers there. During his years spent in Italy, he comes up with his own view of the natural world that is in contrast to the study of botany at the time, defined by Linneaus. The famous botanist made a career (and changed the study of botany) by identifying and categorizing individual plants and their components in minute detail, but Goethe sees the natural world as an integrated whole; from this trip, he will write his lesser-known work, The Metamorphosis of Plants.

And, finally, we meet Linneaus himself, on an expedition in 1732 to Lapland, in the northernmost region of Finland. Linneaus is encountering wholly unique plants that he has never seen before and applying his rules of identification and classification. This section sounds as though it may have been taken directly from Linneaus' journals.

The novel's narrative takes us through each of these four unique stories, set in different times and places and focusing on different characters ... and then back again through Goethe, Evelen, and Shai's stories. The thread connecting all of these disparate narratives is nature and different ways of seeing the world: splitting it into its component parts or seeing it as an integrated whole. The inclusion of real-life historical figures gives the narrative extra dimension and relation to the real world. Along the way, the author also addresses colonialism, class differences, environmental issues, and constant change in the world. It's a lyrical novel, with moving passages that capture the beauty of nature and its effect on each of the characters' very different lives. While its structure of interwoven stories from different times did remind me of Cloud Atlas, it also brought to mind The Overstory by Richard Powers, with its disparate characters coming together to focus on the natural world. I very much enjoyed this unique and immersive novel that was excellent on audio, with multiple narrators.

512 pages, HarperVia

HarperAudio

This book fits in the following 2023 Reading Challenges:

 

Alphabet Soup Challenge - E

Diversity Challenge

Travel the World in Books - India, Italy, Finland

Big Book Summer

 

Visit my YouTube Channel for more bookish fun!

 

Listen to a sample of the audiobook here and/or download it from Audible.

 

Or get this audiobook from Libro.fm and support local bookstores.

 

You can buy the book through Bookshop.org, where your purchase will support the indie bookstore of your choice (or all indie bookstores)--the convenience of shopping online while still buying local!

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Nonfiction Review: The Sun Does Shine

I heard Nikki of the Red Dot Reads channel on YouTube rave about the memoir The Sun Does Shine: How I Found Life, Freedom, and Justice by Anthony Ray Hinton and Lara Love Hardin. When I was planning for Nonfiction November, I discovered I had already downloaded the audio. Given Nikki's recommendation, I made sure to get to this audio book last month. And she was right! Wow, what a stunning, inspiring true story.

Anthony Ray Hinton, known as Ray, had gotten into a little trouble as a teen, but he was determined to get his life together and be a good man. By his twenties, in 1985, he was working steadily for a temp agency and living with his beloved mother, helping her take care of the house and yard. He was out mowing the grass one day when a police car drove up. In front of his mother, the police handcuffed him, arrested him, and drove him to the police station. He kept asking why they were arresting him, and finally, in the car, the detective told him they were arresting him for armed robbery and murder. Ray told them he was innocent and that he would never hurt anyone. He assumed this case of mistaken identity would be straightened out. But Ray was detained in prison, given a public defender, and convicted of two counts of capital murder. It didn't matter that security records showed he was at work at the time of the crime or that the bullets from his mother's gun, found in her house and not fired for decades, didn't match those from the murders. The judge sentenced Ray to death. Ray spent almost thirty years living on death row in a solitary cell, as one court after another upheld his verdict, and 54 of his fellow inmates were put to death. With the help of an incredible lawyer named Bryan Stevenson, author of Just Mercy, the U.S. Supreme Court finally overturned Ray's conviction, and he walked out of the prison in 2015.

That's a brief outline of the bare facts of Ray's unbelievable case, but there is so much more to this moving memoir. Hearing the story first-person--and particularly on audio (though read by a professional narrator)--was absolutely compelling and so powerful. If you read about Ray's case in a crime novel or saw it on a TV series, you'd say, "That's not realistic; that could never happen," but the stunning series of problems, issues, blatant racism, and outright lies that led to Ray's conviction really did happen. I've read other nonfiction books about wrongful convictions, but this one is special. It's not just about Ray and his case but about what it's like to live on death row. Ray befriends the other inmates (even though they are each isolated in solitary cells) and reaches out to them with compassion. He found purpose in connecting with others while on death row for a crime he didn't commit. It's heartbreaking and poignant but also very inspiring. This powerful memoir should be required reading for every U.S. citizen. I'm so glad I read it.

(I see there is also a version for Young Readers, so this book should be in every classroom, too!)

368 pages, St. Martin's Griffin

Macmillan Audio

To hear directly from Ray, listen to this powerful interview with Kate Bowler, from her Everything Happens podcast (one of my favorites for inspiration). He not only talks about his remarkable story but also his commitment to forgiveness.

Kate also recently interviewed Bryan Stevenson, the lawyer who finally got Ray released and the founder of the Equal Justice Initiative.

This book fits in the following 2022 Reading Challenges:

 

Nonfiction Reader Challenge (category - linked to a podcast)

Diversity Reading Challenge

Literary Escapes Challenge - Alabama

Fall Into Reading Challenge - nonfiction

 

Disclosure: I received this book from the publisher in return for an honest review. My review is my own opinion and is not influenced by my relationship with the publisher or author.

 

Note: This post contains affiliate links. Purchases from these links provide a small commission to me (pennies per purchase), to help offset the time I spend writing for this blog, at no extra cost to you.

Visit my YouTube Channel for more bookish fun!

 

Listen to a sample of the audiobook here, from the foreward by Bryan Stevenson, and/or download it from Audible.

 

You can buy the book through Bookshop.org, where your purchase will support the indie bookstore of your choice (or all indie bookstores)--the convenience of shopping online while still buying local!

  

    

 

Or you can order The Sun Does Shine from Book Depository, with free shipping worldwide.

Nonfiction Review: Walden

This spring, I read Six Walks: In the Footsteps of Henry David Thoreau by Ben Shattuck, a beautifully-written memoir about the author taking six walks (really, five walks and one canoe trip) that Thoreau described in his books and journals. The memoir included excerpts of Thoreau's writing, and that inspired me to finally read Thoreau for myself. Walden by Henry David Thoreau was my first book read for Nonfiction November, and while it was a bit of a rocky start, I ended up enjoying this chronicle of his time spent in an isolated cabin he built himself, on the shores of Walden Pond in Massachusetts.

Walden begins with a 73-page chapter titled Economy, in which he explains why he wrote the book. Unfortunately, he goes on to complain, criticize, and ... well, rant about the "modern" ways of living in general and how people wouldn't need to spend their lives earning money if they would just stop buying so much unnecessary stuff (my husband's new favorite word is frippery). He's got a point, but I was relieved when that very long chapter finally ended, and he moved onto his time actually living in the cabin at Walden. As I had hoped, he beautifully describes how he immersed himself in the natural world. He talks about how he spent his time, what it was like to live in the small, rustic cabin (he lived there for two years but condensed the narrative into a single year), and his detailed observations of nature. He portrays every aspect of the natural world: the trees and plants, the pond itself, and birds, animals, and insects living around and with him. His narrative moves through each season of a year, sharing how this small ecosystem around him changed and the varying beauty in the different seasons. In one chapter, his very apt descriptions of the bizarre way a squirrel moves had me laughing out loud and reading the section to my husband.

As I mentioned, in that first section--and occasionally in later chapters--Thoreau gets wrapped up in criticizing the way others live. He comes across as arrogant and privileged in those parts (clearly, he himself has never actually been poor or had any real responsibilities). Thankfully, the rest of the book, about three-quarters of it, were as I had hoped, with beautiful nature writing and in-depth observations of the natural world. I love the outdoors and have myself experienced many times the sense of peace and joy that come from being immersed in nature, so I could relate to his experiences living at Walden. In fact, I read part of this book while camping, sitting outside with my book in the woods, overlooking a small lake; I highly recommend reading this outdoors if you can. I loved his descriptions of the seasonal changes, the sights and sounds of nature, and his experience of solitude. My book is filled with dog-eared pages of beautiful passages I wanted to come back to. His writing--about nature and about simple living--often touched me and made me think. I loved this description of the changing colors in fall:

"Already, by the first of September, I had seen two or three small maples turned scarlet across the pond, beneath where the white stems of three aspens diverged, at the point of a promontory, next the water. Ah, many a tale their color told! And gradually from week to week the character of each tree came out, and it admired itself reflected in the smooth mirror of the lake. Each morning the manager of this gallery substituted some new picture, distinguished by more brilliant or harmonious coloring, for the old upon the walls."

I read another short passage about fall in one of my Friday Reads videos, if you want to listen. It's a dense book that took me two weeks to read, but I thoroughly enjoyed most of it and am glad to have finally experienced Thoreau for myself. If you'd like a taste of his writing in a much shorter book that is delightful on its own, I recommend Six Walks: In the Footsteps of Henry David Thoreau by Ben Shattuck. Or just skip over the ranty bits in Walden and immerse yourself in the beauty of Thoreau's Walden Pond.

384 pages, Clydesdale Classics

This book fits in the following 2022 Reading Challenges:

 

Mount TBR Challenge

Back to the Classics - Classic set in a place you'd like to visit

Nonfiction Reader Challenge

Fall Into Reading Challenge - Classic

 

Note: This post contains affiliate links. Purchases from these links provide a small commission to me (pennies per purchase), to help offset the time I spend writing for this blog, at no extra cost to you.

 

Visit my YouTube Channel for more bookish fun!

 

Listen to a sample of the audiobook here, from the beginning of the books as he described why he wrote it, and/or download it from Audible.

 

You can buy the book through Bookshop.org, where your purchase will support the indie bookstore of your choice (or all indie bookstores)--the convenience of shopping online while still buying local!

     

 

 

Or you can order Walden from Book Depository, with free shipping worldwide.

 

Memoir Review: Six Walks: In the Footsteps of Henry David Thoreau

Booktopia 2022 is quickly approaching (click Events for more info; my recap of Booktopia 2019), and I am continuing to read the new releases from the authors who will be there for the weekend. Last month, I read a memoir,  Six Walks: In the Footsteps of Henry David Thoreau, by Ben Shattuck. This unique nonfiction book is filled with nature, beautiful outdoor writing, and the kind of introspection I love in memoirs.

The author began retracing some of Thoreau's walks spontaneously during a low point in his life. He set out to walk the coast of Cape Cod, wholly unprepared and poorly equipped, on a whim (it felt a bit like Bill Bryson's A Walk in the Woods at that point!). But he met some fascinating people, saw some amazing sights, and came out of that walk a little bit better in mind and body, so he continued his mission. He based the six walks on both the published books and essays written by Thoreau and also on Thoreau's personal journals (which I guess have been published). As often as possible, he tried to re-experience the exact same places in similar ways to Thoreau, though of course our modern world has changed things quite a bit. Besides two walks along Cape Cod (along the inner and outer shores), he also ventures up a mountain in Massachusetts, along the MA/RI coast starting from his own home in the salt marshes where his family has lived for generations, up Mount Katahdin in Maine's Baxter State Park (the northern terminus of the Appalachian Trail), and canoeing with a friend in the Allagash Wilderness Waterway in northern Maine, to the exact island where Thoreau and his colleagues camped on his own canoe trip there. Throughout the book, Shattuck shares his most intimate thoughts and feelings, as well as his observations of nature, and quotes from Thoreau himself. The result is both an emotional and physical journey.

From Thoreau, on how walking echoes life, quoted in the book:

"There is, however, this consolation to the most wayworn traveler, upon the dustiest road, that the path his feet describe is so perfectly symbolical of human life,--now climbing the hills, now descending into the vales. From the summits he beholds the heavens and the horizon, from the vales he looks up to the heights again. He is treading his old lessons still, and though he may be very weary and travel-worn, it is yet sincere experience."

From Shattuck, comparing nature to life:

"Grief and joy are in the same life, but it's only in the forest where you notice the shafts of sunlight spilling through."

As someone who loves nature, loves walking (as much as I am able), and has visited Cape Cod and Maine (one of my favorite places), I thoroughly enjoyed taking this journey with Shattuck. His nature writing is lyrical, bringing the forests, lakes, and coastlines to life on the page. I'm embarrassed to admit I have never read any Thoreau (I plan to rectify that), so I also enjoyed reading these passages from his many writings. And I could appreciate the healing power of nature and the author's own personal journey in this book. He accompanies this lovely writing with his own sketches, which were so beautiful that I ordered a hardcover copy of the book, even though I've already read an ARC on my Kindle. All of these elements come together in a beautifully written memoir that combines nature, travel, literature, and personal experience. I can't wait to meet Ben Shattuck at Booktopia in a few weeks!

175 pages, Tin House Books

Audio: Blackstone Publishing

PLEASE NOTE: Six Walks: In the Footsteps of Henry David Thoreau will be released on April 19, 2022.

This book fits in the following 2022 Reading Challenges:

Nonfiction Readers Challenge (category Wild Animals)

Literary Escapes Challenge - Maine 

Disclosure: I received this book from the publisher in return for an honest review. My review is my own opinion and is not influenced by my relationship with the publisher or author.

 

Note: This post contains affiliate links. Purchases from these links provide a small commission to me (pennies per purchase), to help offset the time I spend writing for this blog, at no extra cost to you.

 

Visit my YouTube Channel for more bookish fun!

 

Listen to a sample of the audiobook here and/or download it from Audible. There is an audiobook, narrated by actor Jonathan Todd Ross. I'm guessing the audio sample will be posted on the book's publication date.

 

You can buy the book through Bookshop.org, where your purchase will support the indie bookstore of your choice (or all indie bookstores)--the convenience of shopping online while still buying local!

    

 

Or you can order Six Walks: In the Footsteps of Henry David Thoreau from Book Depository, with free shipping worldwide.

Fiction Review: Miss Benson's Beetle

I was thrilled when my neighborhood book group chose Miss Benson's Beetle by Rachel Joyce because I absolutely loved (as did the rest of the group) her earlier novels, The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry and  The Love Song of Miss Queenie Hennessy.  This latest novel from Joyce is just as quirky and funny yet warm and thoughtful as those.

In 1950, amidst post-war rationing and rebuilding in London, spinster Margery Benson suddenly rebels from her staid life as a Home Ec teacher. For reasons she can't even explain to herself, she reaches her breaking point, abruptly leaves her job, and decides to follow her lifelong dream. Margery loves insects, especially beetles. When she was a child, her father had a book that talked about the possibly-mythical golden beetle of New Caledonia, a remote island in the Pacific. Ever since then, through devastating losses, Margery has dreamed of going to the island and finding the golden beetle and making a name for herself as an explorer entomologist. Margery launches a search for a research assistant and begins planning her expedition. Through a variety of misunderstandings and mistakes, petite Enid Pretty joins Margery on her trip, dressed in tiny high heels and a bright pink suit. The two of them make quite the odd couple, as they cross oceans and embark on the journey of a lifetime that will change them both in unforeseen ways.

As with those earlier two novels, I absolutely loved this unique story! It's just pure fun to read, filled with humor and quirkiness that made me often laugh out loud. What I most love about Joyce's novels, though, is the tenderness and warmth she shows toward her flawed but human characters. Both Margery and Enid have their own demons in their past lives that they are running from, both figuratively and in reality. Through it all, though, they pursue Margery's dream and hunt for the mysterious beetle, amid one challenge after another and a whole lot of surprise twists! The other thing I love about Joyce's novels is her thoughtful writing that makes you think in the midst of laughing. Here, toward the end of the novel, Margery muses on the true meaning of friendship:

"Being a friend meant accepting those unknowable things. It meant saying, "Look! Look how big my leg is! And look how small yours is! Look how marvelously different we are, you and I, and yet here we are, together in this strange world!" It was by placing herself side by side with Enid that Margery had finally begun to see the true outline of herself. And she knew it now: Enid was her friend."

I enjoyed every moment of Margery's and Enid's adventures together, I laughed and I cried, and when I finished the book, I hugged it to my chest. I can't wait to see what Rachel Joyce writes next!

352 pages, Doubleday

Random House Audio

Note: This post contains affiliate links. Purchases from these links provide a small commission to me (pennies per purchase), to help offset the time I spend writing for this blog, at no extra cost to you.

 

Visit my YouTube Channel for more bookish fun!

 

Listen to a sample of the audiobook here, narrated by Juliet Stevenson, and/or download it from Audible.

 

You can buy the book through Bookshop.org, where your purchase will support the indie bookstore of your choice (or all indie bookstores)--the convenience of shopping online while still buying local!  
  

Or you can order Miss Benson's Beetle from Book Depository, with free shipping worldwide.

Nonfiction Review: No Cure for Being Human

In case you somehow missed my gushing (in videos and blog posts) about how much I love author Kate Bowler, let me fill you in. Kate hosts a podcast called Everything Happens that has quickly become my all-time favorite podcast. Every episode makes me both laugh out loud and tear up. Listening to one recent episode, she said something so hilarious and unexpected that I almost spit my tea across the room and immediately made my husband listen, too (he agreed). You can read more about her podcast in this post I wrote on my chronic illness blog. So, when I heard Kate had a new book coming out, I knew I wanted to read it. I picked it up at a local indie bookstore this fall, and it was my first book read for Nonfiction November. My review is so late because I wanted to wait until I had the time to do this wonderful book justice. No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) by Kate Bowler was just as moving as I'd expected and, like her podcast, made me both laugh and cry.

Kate is living with incurable cancer. She has gone through every kind of treatment and surgery you can imagine and is OK for now, but she still has to endure periodic treatments and live with the shadow of cancer hanging over every moment. This has made her incredibly honest and open and helped her to reevaluate what's important in life. Both her podcast (see the logo above) and this book are based on the idea that when something bad happens to you--cancer, like Kate, or living with chronic illness, like me, or divorce or any other kind of loss or chronic struggle--well-meaning people jump in with all sorts of unhelpful comments and advice. Much of this derives from our entire society's focus on a culture of "toxic positivity," which includes harmful beliefs along the lines of "if you just try hard enough, you can overcome anything," which those of us who've dealt with loss or chronic issues know is not really true. All the positivity in the world won't cure Kate's cancer or my immune disorder. In the book, Kate shares the details of her journey with cancer while including some of these myths she's run into versus the honest truths of real life. Chapters include classic feel-good lines like Best Life Ever, Bucket Lists, YOLO (You Only Live Once), and more. She debunks each of these in turn while sharing her intimate story of struggle and survival. Here, she tackles the ever-popular Bucket Lists:

" ... We have made bucket lists into a new form of experiential capitalism. Hang gliding. Snorkeling. Times Square on New Year's Eve and Paris in the spring. A successful life is one that can be completed.

The problem with aspirational lists, of course, is that they often skip the point entirely. Instead of helping us grapple with our finitude, they have approximated infinity. With unlimited time and resources, we could do anything, be anyone. We could become more adventurous by jumping out of airplanes, more traveled by visiting every continent, or more cultured by reading the most famous books of all time. With the right list, we would never starve with the hunger of want.

But it is much easier to count items than to know what counts."

That was one of dozens of passages I tabbed in my book because Kate has such a way with words and an ability to get to the heart of the truth that I always feel like she is talking directly to me. And her amazing sense of humor keeps popping up in unexpected places and surprising me, like this excerpt from a chart at the back of the books of "Cliches We Hear and Truths We Need":

"Things People Say                            A More Complicated Truth

Carpe Diem                                        I mean, yes, unless you need a nap.

Let go and let God.                            God loves you, but he won't do your taxes."

You might be thinking that a book about someone's cancer journey (with such an uncertain future) would be depressing, but it's not. Kate has such an amazing ability to crystallize her experiences and thoughts into universal truths. And she is very much an optimist ... but an optimist who has had the ice cold, bracing truth of real life thrown in her face. The result is raw emotion, honesty, and openness, all tempered by a wonderful sense of humor just when you need it. The book had very much the same effect on me that her podcast does: laughter, tears, and wanting to write down half of what she says to remember. She has an amazing talent for saying just what I need to hear. I find listening to her or reading her book to be a very comforting and reassuring experience, as she makes me realize I am not alone and I can have a happy life without embracing all the go-go-go/do-do-do pop culture positivity we see every day online. This is my life, limits and all, and Kate helps me to accept that and find joy in it. If you have not yet discovered Kate, this book is a great place to start.

202 pages, Random House

Note: This post contains affiliate links. Purchases from these links provide a small commission to me (pennies per purchase), to help offset the time I spend writing for this blog, at no extra cost to you.

Visit my YouTube Channel for more bookish fun!

 

Listen to a sample of the audiobook here, with Kate's soothing voice narrating her own words, and/or download it from Audible - listen to get an idea of her honesty and humor, even in the face of horrible circumstances.

 

You can buy the book through Bookshop.org, where your purchase will support the indie bookstore of your choice (or all indie bookstores)--the convenience of shopping online while still buying local!

  
  

Or you can order No Cure for Being Human from Book Depository, with free shipping worldwide.

Nonfiction Review: Lift by Kelly Corrigan

For years, I have been hearing rave reviews of Kelly Corrigan's books, most of them collections of personal essays. I've also heard interviews with her on podcasts, about how she lost her dad, struggled with cancer, and more. Every interview I heard, in spite of the often dark topics, has made me laugh, though, so I knew I wanted to read some of her writing. Nonfiction November was over much too quickly for me, but I did manage to squeeze in one last book in the last two days of the month, the short memoir Lift by Kelly Corrigan.

This brief little book was actually written by Kelly as a letter to her two daughters, for them to read at some far-off time in the future when they are grown. It describes some of her experiences as a mother, including both the intense pains and soaring joys of being a parent. Her narrative covers the small, everyday moments between parents and children, as well as the extraordinary times that you think might break you. In particular, she writes about when one of her daughters, as a baby, caught meningitis and was hospitalized for several nightmarish days, driving home the fragility of life. She also writes about her friend, Meg, who very much wanted to be a parent but hadn't found the right person to be her partner, and how she finally came to a decision that would change her life. And she writes of the devastating loss of a family member, her aunt's son, a teen boy just entering the prime of his life, and how her aunt (and she) dealt with that. That same aunt once told her, " ... We're never ready for the things that happen. When the big stuff happens, we're always looking in the other direction." In another passage, Kelly writes about what family means to her, explaining why she wanted to be a mother:

"Greenie [grandpa] has this huge family and I love being inside something that big. I love the noise and the hugging and high-fiving and how we tell the same ten stories every time we're together and, after that, we tell the same six jokes ..."

Having just returned from a Thanksgiving trip to see my own family, where we did indeed beg my stepfather to tell all his best stories again (for the hundredth time) as we all laughed until our stomachs hurt, I can relate.

And that's what Kelly Corrigan--and all the best essayists and memoirists--does. She tells her own very personal stories in such a warm, intimate way that we see our own experiences in them. She writes beautifully (I tabbed many quotes in the short book), with deep, raw emotion but also humor. Lift is a moving, powerful encapsulation of what it means to be a parent--and a flawed human--in a world that is bound to both break our hearts and give us unbelievable moments of joy. Reading this book took me back to the days when my own two sons were young in a wonderful (and terrifying) journey of nostalgia. It also inspired me to write my own letters to them. Fittingly, one of my sons gave me this book for my birthday.

89 pages, Hachette Books

Random House Audio

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